Speaking of Thank You

Stemming off the last post, it made me remember a conversation I had several months ago that has stuck with me. When Caleb was still in daycare, I was telling the teachers that he would be leaving soon because I was going to stay at home with him and the new baby. This one particular teacher had only been there a few weeks and told me that she hoped I like staying home, but that she recently went back to work after staying at home with her kids. One of the main reasons she said she didn't like it was because it was a thankless job. She said felt like her "job" was very unappreciated and that "no one says thank you for doing a good job at cleaning the house or feeding your kids lunch."

At the time, I didn't think much about it (other than... funny that she came to work in a daycare if she felt that way...) but I was in a hurry to finish dropping Caleb off and get to work on time. But now thinking back and after staying at home with my kids for several months, I can't help but think that it is just so sad that she felt that way.

A.) There are so many rewards that come with taking care of your children apart from spoken words of appreciation. I could go on and on about this, but it is extremely rewarding. Seeing them grow, learn, change, master new skills, etc.. I can't even begin to describe the delight I get from seeing and being part of it.

B.) The teacher mentioned her husband at one point and I can't help but think how sad it is that he (according to her) didn't ever tell her thank you - or if he did, she still didn't feel appreciated. Maybe I'm just incredibly lucky and this isn't the norm, but Clayton tells me thank you all the time. Whether I bust my tail cleaning the house, giving the kids baths, or teaching Caleb his ABC's, Clayton always shows his appreciation for my doing so - just as I try to always express my appreciation for him working so hard so that I am able to be at home with our kids. I feel like he appreciates me very much - and it would certainly make staying home and taking care of our children much more difficult if I didn't feel like he valued and appreciated it.

C.) Children should say thank you - and the teacher should have been teaching them to do so. How sad that this very reason caused her to give up when she could have easily done something about it. Caleb thanks me for changing his diaper and getting him dressed in the morning. He thanks me for giving him a bath. He thanks me for making his lunch. He thanks me for playing a game with him. If you want your kids to be thankful, teach them! She may not have been able to change her husband's behavior, but she certainly could have changed her children's.

My point is certainly not that woman shouldn't work outside the home, nor that staying home and raising children is easy. My point is simply that whatever your contribution to your family is, be it working outside the home or not, there is value to it. Each person's talents and gifts are different and we really have to be conscience of what we're contributing and be thankful of what others are contributing.

In Clayton's family, I feel as though we all contribute something different and I love seeing how it all works together. Until Clayton and I met, I had never lived near a lot of family to see this in action. His family is like a big puzzle - and everyone fits together to fill the gaps.

Clayton's sister - while in college and now working night shift as a nurse - has had the ability to contribute a whole lot by helping everyone out with babysitting. When I was working and if we were in a pinch with Caleb being sick and unable to attend daycare, Maria or Clayton's dad (who also works night shift), were almost always able to help us out. When you only get X number of vacation days and your kid is sick every other week as a result of daycare, I can't even begin to express the blessing this was to us.

Our sister-in-law, Dana, has also helped us out a great deal with babysitting. She quit her job and watched Caleb every day for over a year so I didn't have to put him in daycare until he was almost 2. I can't even begin to tell you what a relief it was to know that family was caring for our six month old baby.

Clayton's dad and his brothers all help each other when it comes to manual labor and stuff being done around the house - putting up fences, cleaning up flooded basements, building decks, cutting down trees, moving - even though everyone is really busy with families of their own, they still try their best to help each other whenever it's needed.

Clayton's mom always helps with everything she can - be it babysitting, taking sick kids to the doctor, picking up milk at the store, or hosting and feeding all 20 of us nearly every single weekend. I don't know how she has the energy to do half of what she does. She has taught me so much about what family is about - and what being a mother is about - especially when your kids are grown.

I know I've just barely scratched the surface of what everyone does for each other, but my point is that I really love that I have gotten the chance to see first hand how a big family all works together. It's amazing to know that there are so many people out there that we can count on. <3